PLEASE SELECT ONE OF THESE SONGS TO AUDITION WITH. YOU MAY BE ASKED TO SING MORE THAN ONE.
(Ignore the “auditions Nov on this youtube clip!)
Big Bright Beautiful World (Shrek/Male)
Travel Song (Donkey Male/Female)
This is How a Dream Comes True (Fiona/Female)
Forever (Dragon/Female)
Additional Songs:
I Know It’s Today-Young Fiona vocal & accompaniment (Young girl)
I Know It’s Today-Teen Fiona vocal & accompaniment (teen girl)
I Know It’s Today-Fiona vocal & accompaniment (Female)
Freak Flag- Ensemble (Male or Female)
SIDES:
SIDE 1 (Shrek, Fiona, Bishop, Farquaad)
BISHOP
People of Duloc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union of our new King and Queen-
FIONA
Um… Excuse me… Could we just skip to the I dos?
BISHOP
Right, well then. Uh, do you, Lord Farquaad, take Princess Fiona?
FARQUAAD
I do.
BISHOP
And do you, Princess Fio-
FIONA
I do.
SHREK
Stop the wedding!
(FIONA reacts in shock and hope. SHREK comes down the aisle, joined by the FAIRY TALE CREATURES.)
FIONA
Shrek…?
FARQUAAD
Really?! Showing up uninvited with your freaky friends? Ewww!
SHREK
Fiona, I need to talk to you.
FIONA
Oh, now you want to talk? Well it s a little late for that. So if you’ll excuse me-
SHREK
But you can’t marry him!
FIONA
And why not?
SHREK
Because, because he’s just marrying you so he can be King.
FARQUAAD
That is outrageous!! Fiona, don’t listen to him!
SHREK
Hes not your true love.
FARQUAAD
Guards, take this abomination out of my sight!
FIONA
No! Uhh… I mean… let’s hear what the… monster has to say. It might be worth a laugh.
FARQUAAD
Oh, you are awful. You heard her, ogre. Express yourself… with as few grunts as possible.
SIDE 2 (Shrek, Donkey, Captain of the Guard)
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD
(trying to muster the courage)
By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest.
SHREK
Under arrest, eh?
(pause)
Boo.
(The GUARDS freeze in fear, knees shaking.)
GUARDS
Ahhhhhh!
SHREK
(whispers)
This is the part where you run away.
(The GUARDS do, screaming as they flee.)
And don’t come back! Now, which way to Duloc &
(With that done, SHREK takes out the map and tries to figure out which way leads to Duloc. DONKEY smiles up at his new hero.)
DONKEY
Can I just say? That was incredible. Man, they were trippin’ over themselves to get away from you. I liked that.
SHREK
Oh, good. I’m glad. Now, why don’t you go celebrate your narrow escape with your friends?
DONKEY
But I don’t have any friends.
SHREK
Now there’s a shocker.
DONKEY
Heh-heh that’s funny. Say, you lost or something?
SHREK
No, I m just trying to figure out the best route to Duloc.
DONKEY
Oh Duloc! I know Duloc! You gotta let me show you the way, because I am like a GPS with fur!
SHREK
I ll be fine on my own, thanks.
DONKEY
But nobody’s fine on their own! Not when you look like we do! Hey! Didn’t you hear what they said? Man, this place is goin’ Stepford! We gotta join forces! Otherwise they’re gonna lock me up! And I cannot go back in a cage! I don’t know if I mentioned it or not, but I did six years in solitary for impersonating a piñata.
SHREK
Alright, look, only because I’m lost, you can come-
DONKEY
Yeah! Woo-hoo, alright-!
SHREK
On one condition! You keep the jabbering to a minimum.
DONKEY
You got it! No jabbering! Man, you will not regret this.
SHREK
Too late.
DONKEY
Now that’s what Im talking about! Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends off on a whirlwind big city adventure!
SIDE 3 (Fiona, Shrek)
FIONA
(being shaken)
Uhl-uhl-uhl!
SHREK
Are you Princess Fiona?
FIONA
I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
SHREK
Ah, that s nice. Now let’s go.
FIONA
But wait, Sir Knight! I have long awaited this day! And I would’st first like to knowest the name of my champion.
SHREK
Um… Shrek.
FIONA
Sir, Shrek…
(produces handkerchief)
I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
(SHREK regards the handkerchief, then wipes his neck with it, and hands it back to FIONA.)
SHREK
Thanks. All right, let’s go.
(SHREK climbs down from the tower.)
FIONA
Now holdest on, Sir Knight. Don t you want to savor this moment? It be-eth our first meeting. It must be a wonderful and romantic scene.
(FIONA strikes a pose.)
SHREK
Aw geez, I’m like a crackpot magnet.
(The DRAGON roars offstage.)
FIONA
You didn’t slay the dragon?
SHREK
It’s on my to-do list. Come on!
(FIONA climbs down from the tower. DONKEY runs across the stage.)
SHREK
Donkey!
DONKEY
Shrek!
(DRAGON enters chasing DONKEY.)
FIONA
Dragon!
ALL
Run!!
SIDE 4 (Shrek, Pinocchio, Pig #1, Pig #2, Pig #3, Wicked Witch, Mama Bear, Baby Bear, Big Bad Wolf
SHREK
What are you doing in my swamp?
PINOCCHIO
Well gosh, we were forced to come here.
SHREK
Forced? By who?
PIG #2
Lord Farquaad! He hoofed und he poofed, und he signed an eveection notice.
SHREK
Huh. Well, not my problem. Now you all need to turn around and go back where you came from.
MAMA BEAR
Go back?! We cant go back!
PIG #1
Farquaad vill turn us into bratvurst!
BIG BAD WOLF
The guy’s bad news.
PIG #3
Hey, maybe you could talk to him.
BABY BEAR
Yeah, he’ll listen to you! You’re big and scary.
SHREK
Im also an ogre, which means I stay on my swamp and avoid large crowds. Or havent you read the stories?
BIG BAD WOLF
You mean those stories that say I’m a big badwolf?
WICKED WITCH
And the ones that say I’m a wickedwitch?
(All the FAIRY TALE CREATURES laugh uproariously.)
PINOCCHIO
Or the ones that say I’m a woodenboy!
(uncomfortable silence)
What? I’m not a wooden boy.
(His nose grows bwoooop.)
I have a glandular condition.
WICKED WITCH
Look here, ogre, I’m gonna spell it out for ya. You’re the only one tough enough to stand up to that no-good flim-flammer Farquaad.
SHREK
Okay, fine, I get it! Attention all… fairy tale things! I’m gonna go see this Farquaad guy right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from!